Sorry I havent been on much

[mouse]

To be honest most of the time, I just check my gmail and facebook on my phone. I barely stop now I'm always on the go. Oddly enough it's never for myself, always for someone else, doing what someone else needs.
Well September 11th, I'm taking my ACT's. I graduated in February. You would think graduating at 16 would have me on the right track, well instead now I'm 17 trying to figure out what to do with my life next. I have to make a choice on what school I want to go to, and what I want to major in. But I honestly have no idea what I truly want. Ive never had to make decisions for myself, people have always told me what to stay, and what to do.
I already had what they call teen depression before all this came up, and now it's just getting worst, especially since I'm not being treated for it, but dealing with it my own way. So once again I'm sorry for not being as active as I should. I just have alot on my mind, and I'm just not sure what to do with any path of my life. Most of the time it just feels like dying would be easier, but my life isn't about making myself happy. I truly believe I'm just here to do things for everyone else, to make sure everyone else stays content.


Wow, just realized how depressing this sounds. So I'll stop making everyone else listen to my excuses, because that's all people ever see them as. -------- CarlaJay

[Deleted]

Mouse I'm in your place.I graduated last school year and I had no clue what to do then I knew what I wanted to do because everyone told me what to do but I had nothing to get me there then I had to work and from there I had to do everything for myself and I still thought I had to please people instead of myself and now I can't what so ever unless it's writing songs, scripts, ideas for stuff because I have to be put on disability......and I can't even go to college anymore..........I'm real depressed about that and so is my girlfriend........but now I have a huge blockade in my life and thats trying to get disability for myself which takes 5 months to a two years to get.......which means I need to find all this money I need without accualy working....but what always got me through everything was thinking about the people I met on here......and my friends int he real world...and now all my real world friends have moved away for college and might never be back........so I'm with you guys and thats what kept me fighting for the past month to get a job and work through it and just yesterday I got fired because I threw up at work and there was blood in it..........which was brought on from me working past my limit.....but I bet if you look deep inside of yourself mouse you can find that one thing that keeps you going......the one thing that makes you want to push yourself...........and no you won't throw up blood because when I reach my limit and go past it my stomach suffers.......