She Told Me To... So I Am. (Rated PG-16)

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

She's telling me to write in this book... I don't know why she wants it. She promised me she wouldn't look at it. She promised me she'd only look at it once I'm dead, so she wouldn't get mad at me for writing down what I truly think.
I think she's lying.
I think she'll look in to this book every time I go to sleep. I hate her. But she tells me I have to love her if I don't want to die.
Honestly, I want to die. But something inside me. Something keeps making me go on. I don't... I don't know what it is. But it makes me keep wanting to live.
Anyway... changing the subject. A normal day... The morning.
She wakes me up with either a kick or a punch to the gut. I get used to it after a while. You come to expect it after a while. It doesn't help with the shock your body puts you in to.
After I wake up, she gives me orders. She makes me recite the date, how long I've been in her basement. Today... this is April first. Year... what year. I'm thinking this is year two... maybe three. I'm writing this in my bed. I have to remember... I don't want her to punish me again for not remembering the year. It's easy. Yes. Year two. It's... a Friday, I believe. Going to be a Friday. It's about midnight, so I guess this is close enough. She always makes breakfast on Fridays.
I usually only get a large lunch. She cooks the food by herself, and I must admit... she's a good cook. Chef, I mean. Chef. I've got to remember.
A good chef. Yes. There hasn't been a single food she's cooked that I dislike. Everything she cooks is... well. She could sell it. I've got to eat it all in five minutes. She talks to me while I eat. If I talk with a full mouth, she cuts my legs. Once, thank God. Any more and I wouldn't be able to move. I've managed to be able to swallow large amounts of food without choking. It... took practice. And a few scars on my legs. If I don't finish it all in five minutes, she gives me a threat. It's... usually a promise, though. Something small. Like breaking a finger, maybe giving me a nosebleed. I don't know.
After she bites you enough, you've got enough unintentional vampire DNA in your system. With this... DNA, you can usually heal a lot faster then a regular, unbitten human would. She knows about this, and uses this to her advantage. A broken bone... a broken leg would only take a week to heal. For a vampire it would take about a few hours. Less than a week. Days. Five? Six? As long as I keep it straight. She doesn't help me.
I have to heal all on my own. She tones down everything while I have something serious. She gives me a snack before I go to bed. She says it helps me heal faster. It's usually just a few crackers or maybe a slice or two of bread, depending on the size. She doesn't hold back on the food. I'm glad it's not rotten and moldy.
She actually gives you food. Actual food. She keeps you skinny, though. Bone skinny. She says that she doesn't want to waste food that doesn't need to be eaten. The money's coming out of her own pocket, and she doesn't have a job. Her boyfriend has a job. But... he died yesterday.
Today is April Fools Day. Who knows what's going to happen today? I don't. She's probably going to make me go through her house... set with traps. She did last year. Ever see the movie Saw? Yeah. It was like that. Only you weren't going to die. Just pass out from pain. I'm thrilled. She always keeps you on the edge. She doesn't go far enough for you to pass out, or bleed out. Just enough to keep you conscious, enduring every single second of it. She enjoys it. I can see it in her eyes.
Well, I've written more then four pages of this diary... I guess I should go to bed. At least I have someone- something- to talk to. She's telling me she'll leave my right hand alone so I can write. She wants me to. Probably because she thinks I'm lonely. Or just wants an inside look.
Anyway... goodnight.
Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

April Fools Day. It's one of the worst days of my life, at times. When I woke up, she didn't kick me or punch me. She let me wake up naturally. Then she opened the door and let me in to her house after making a breakfast. She watched me eat like usual, but she didn't give me a time limit, or speak to me. I saw the inside of her house! Her house! It was beautiful. She must be blessed to have that much money. She took me through her kitchen, where the basement door was, then through her living room. I saw the door. The door that I was dragged through on day one. I'm seeing it again two years later. Two years, one month, twelve days later. My wounds from yesterday, she healed them. I don't know how... but she healed them. She just touched them, then they were gone. The pain was gone. For once... I felt no pain. I got so used to having pain that I forgot what it was like not to have any. I saw somebody walk past us with a big bucket to the basement. I just thought that maybe they needed something out of the downstairs 'kitchen' area. It doesn't even work. I don't know why they have it. The next thing she did was put this cream all over me. She said it made all my scars go away. And you know what?
It actually worked. The only scars I have left are the ones on my ankle and one on my arm.
I was finally being treated like a human again. Finally. After that, she fed me again and didn't even watch me. She was off doing something else. She took my plate and put it in the sink, then lead me to the door. The front door. She opened it up, and shoved me outside, quickly closing the door. I was outside... outside without any limits. Or so I thought. The air... it smelled so good. The first thing I did was run. I ran away. Away from the house. She didn't come after me. I was so excited that this was the day that she finally set me free! Hours later it started to get dark. I needed a place to sleep.
But I didn't have much time to think about it. She put a rag with chloroform on it on my mouth and nose and took me back to her house. It was all a joke. And that wasn't even the worst part of the joke. When I woke up, I was strapped to the bed, this metal box around the sheets. It took me a while, but after some tickling all over my body, I realized that that guy with the bucket, he put that bucket of spiders in my bed. And now I couldn't get out. They were non-poisonous, but they still hurt when they bit you constantly. She wouldn't let me out, or kill the spiders. So I had to sleep in a spider infested bed last night. I've got bites and sores all over me. She promised me that she would go easy on me for the next two days. Two days. At least that's something.
When I woke up, they flushed out the spiders with smoke. Of course she didn't kill them. She just threw a smoke-bomb in the basement and expected me to wake up and know what to do.
Anyway, I've got to go. I can hear her footsteps coming closer.
Until next time,
Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was uneventful. She told me she wasn't going to heal me, and I just had to tough out all these stupid spiderbites. Let's see how much she likes it when she has a bazillion spiderbites. I shouldn't say that. Somehow I just know she's watching. Being in this dark basement really... changed me. I can see so much better in the dark. My skin is close to white. I'm not exposed to too many diseases. The only window in the basement is almost always closed. Last Halloween she had it opened. While somebody passed out candy on her porch, she hurt me and made me scream, adding a good creepy atmosphere. Everyone thought it was just a recording. Boy, were they wrong. I wish that at least one of them... one of them realized that it wasn't a recording on loop. I would've gotten out of this mess a lot sooner. Then I'd get to see my parents again. My family. This picture is the only link I have to them. I'll always keep it in this book.
That way I know where it is. Maybe I'll get to see them again? When I'm alive. Maybe she'll take me to them before she kills me?
The last thing I want anymore is just that. For her to end my misery and just kill me. I'm getting nothing from this. She is, but that doesn't count. If I get out of here alive, I'm certainly going to make her pay. I don't know how, but I will.
Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

April 10. She finally told me who Sarah was, and where she was. The same exact basement as me, fifty years ago. She only lasted three months before she... got rid of her.
Poor girl. I can't imagine how that felt. I don't even want to think about it.
She had a strong heart, just like mine. I can't let that demon of a woman get a hold of my mind. I know what she wants to do, and she won't achieve victory. Not now, not ever. I hope.
I can't be certain of anything anymore. I thought I was home free on the first week I was here, but here I am. Two years later. Two years. I can't believe no one's found me yet.
Isn't she already a wanted criminal? Aren't people watching her?
Maybe they're too afraid. I would be.
She's talking about her daughter. I didn't even know she had a daughter. I don't know anything about it... the only thing I've ever seen of her is a painting from who knows how long ago. She looks young.
Really young. Under eighteen, I know that for sure. She looks mean. In the picture, she wasn't smiling like most. She wasn't... really doing anything. I bet she was just doing like she was told.
She told me her name, but I can't remember. She was angry and was hurting me too much for me to actually listen to what she said.
This time she only used her knife once, but constantly strangled me. She's stop and let me get a breath of air, then do it again.
She certainly had a way of punishments. The only thing I did wrong this time was not stand straight. I couldn't stand straight... She'd cut my back the other day, and it stung a lot when I stood straight. I certainly paid for it. I think I would've rather stood straight...
Well, I have to go... it's getting early. I should have been in bed a while ago.

Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

April 23.
From an outside look, it may seem like all she does is torture me every day with no reason. Nothing else, just pain. Well, you're wrong. She tries to be friendly. Like maybe she'll just have a casual conversation. Well, she'd be the one talking. I have nothing to talk about. She'll tell me about her would've-been husband, her daughter, sometimes about her brother. From what I hear, he's a mean fellow.
I hope I don't meet him. Though I have a feeling that some day I will. If I live through this.
Sometimes she acts really childish. Perhaps humming a nursery rhyme. Most common one wold be a strange version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She loves that one.
Sometimes she sits with her legs crossed and sways back and forth as she talks to me. I think something is wrong with her. She tells me that she can't remember when she was human. She tells me that the only thing she remembers is Andrew. He's the man that proposed to her some time in the later 1500's. She told me that he was a really nice man, and he treated her well. Except when she got drunk this one day. She told me that Andrew did exactly what she's doing to me. She says she can't remember why. I would imagine that she was a completely different person before he found her. She's telling me I've changed a lot. She tells me I've changed for the good.
She's telling me she might not kill me in the end. She's telling me I have maybe three months before the end. She's calling this 'training.' I don't know what she's trying to do. Sometimes she tells me it's working. More often she's calling me a 'good girl.' I know for a fact she's straight... so at least that's not a problem.
Crap. Got to go.
Dawn.

[/size]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

April 24.
Sorry about last night... She came in. And She was drunk. Again. Usually when She's drunk, something happened to her. So I asked her what happened. Usually when She's drunk, I can get a lot of information out of her without her even knowing. So I asked her what she was trying to do to me.
I swear I stopped breathing for a few seconds. She told me tha she was training me to be.... obedient. I see why she said I was doing good, then. It is working. Everything She asks, well, almost anything... I do it. I just don't want the punishment. She even gave me a test today. She let me out of the basement. Occasionally, she would give me orders when I was in her house. She wouldn't let me out. She told me to sit. I sat right where I was.
I didn't want to... I guess my mind has control, now. My mind doesn't want to be punished anymore. I feel satisfied when she calls me a 'good girl' now. After a few more orders like... I don't know. Close the curtains, or take the front door key an-- Wait.
She gave me the front door key. Why... why didn't I realize that? She let me hold it. She let me hold my freedom! Why didn't I take it?
Because she told me not to. That's why.
Anyway... She let me take a shower and get a change of clothes. I was glad to get out of those thin dirty white things. She usually gives me another change of those clothes, but the bloodstains never come out. She let me have any shirt I wanted, and any pair of pants.
I really didn't know what to say. This is the most comfortable I've been in months! I'm clean, have clean clothes... she gave me food. Did I pass the test?
Dawn[/size]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

May 4.

The past week I wasn't able to write. She 'accidentally' crushed my writing hand. I doubt it was an accident. She stepped on it. She can see perfectly in the dark, so she would've had no trouble at all seeing my hand, left directly where she put it.
I should stop complaining. I should be glad it wasn't my neck she broke this time. She threatens to do it sometimes.
Sometimes she'll pretnd to do it to make me do something for her. She'll choke me, then throw me off to the side, putting a foot on my back and pulling back on my neck, both choking me and making my back tremble. Right when it's about to snap, I can feel it. I stop shaking for just a moment, then she lets go. She comes so close... it's like she doesn't even care.

She's telling me that she won't be here at her house for about three days. She won't let me know. She says that I'll be allowed one meal, and she expects that I'll properly ration it for three days. I was never good at that...
I know these days will be rough. At least she won't be hurting me. It'll give me some more time to heal up before she starts all over again.

Dawn.
[/size]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

May 5.
I woke up all on my own today. It was great... it must've been midnight. I saw the food she got me near the door. It's a pretty big meal. I think I'll be fine, concerning food. Though she didn't give me any water. That's fine, though. It rained the past few days and I managed to collect some water in a cup. It's not much, and it's certainly dirty. It'd better then nothing, though. Much better.
She also left her keys by the plate. The keys to the padlocks on the doors, the keys to her attic, the keys to her car... everything. They're all labeled.
Her car is still in the driveway. She had a flat-bed red truck, only two seats. She keeps it clean. She really likes it.
I think she put the keys there as another test. To see if I was loyal to her.
I don't think I'm going to try and escape.
As much as I want to, I won't. I know that if she catches me, I'm in for it.
I don't want to be in for it.

Dawn
[/size]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

May 6.
I don't think I'm eating enough. I've got a lot of food left. Not even half of it is gone. I guess I'm doing a good job, then.
It really makes me wonder what She's doing. She wouldn't tell me what She was doing, or where She was going. Just that She was leaving.
I suppose it was really none of my business. I shouldn't poke around like that. It might get me in some trouble. I don't like trouble.
I drank some water, then I ran out. That was all I had. It's hard to get a decent drink from a leak in the basement, letting only a few drops down on a heavy rain.
She's teaching me how to survive. She's taught me first aid, food conservation, salvation, heck. She even taught me how to resist temptation.
I don't feel like writing any more... I guess I'll just wait the day out. Vacation. This is vacation.
Lovely.

Dawn.
[/size]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

May 7.
She's coming back today. I ate some food. It's getting old. Part of me is glad to see her come back. In a strange twisted way... I missed her. I didn't think I'd say it, but I missed her. When she's gone, I find myself talking to myself a lot. I don't know why... the words. I can't keep them in my head. It's like I have to say them to understand them. It's hard. It's like those times when you're making something... a project, let's say. You're almost done, and have to add the finishing touches. The finishing touches can be the most important part of the project, making of breaking the entire thing.
While this project may be just an inanimate object, this is real life.
The finishing touches are the one thing that keeps me from comprehending anything.
It's getting harder to think. I think that's how she wants it to be.
Most people would think that my life would be impossible. They would think that someone wouldn't be able to live on just one meal a day. Being tortured every single day of your life. Drinking from a leak in the basement. No... they wouldn't believe me if I told them, or showed them proof. No. No one would believe me. Why would they? Heck, I wouldn't believe me.
She's driving me insane... she's trying to make me like her. I don't know why... perhaps personal revenge? I don't know. I don't care. I want out.

Dawn.[/font]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

May 9.
Two days. She's still not back. I've ran out of food and water, and I feel sick. Maybe just a bug, I don't know. I feel like I'm being watched. I find myself looking at the window in this basement often, my eyes finding the same thing over and over. Nothing. I fell asleep on the floor, and I guess that's where the sun shines. For months I get the feeling of warmth from the sun, and I get a nice sunburn on my arm. What a welcome.
I don't know what to think anymore. She's doing this on purpose. I know it. I heard the police go down the street a few times. I yelled out for them but they never hear me. If I yell for someone walking on the sidewalk, it's not like they think I'm not joking. A lot of them think I'm just some weird teen wanting to prank some people.
If only they knew. It just makes me mad.
I hope she kills me soon. I'm starting to get tired of this. I just want it to end, already.[/font]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

May 12.
It's been a little over a week and she's still not back. I haven't eaten anything in around four days or so... but luckily it rained so I drank a little water. Half of me wants to grab those keys and run to the nearest food joint. God, that would be amazing to eat again. Eat slowly, and until I'm full. I'm sick of being able to see my bones. It looks wrong. She wouldn't know, would she? She's been gone for this long, why would she come back? Because she will. She always does. She's testing me. And I'm not going to fail.
I'm going to wait, and do as she says. I don't want to be punished. Not anymore.
It hurts so bad... sometimes I just wish she'd just end it. Either let me go or kill me. I want to see my sister again, if she's still alive. No telling with that psychopath on the loose. They should lock her up and melt the key. Throwing it away would be too dangerous. Just melt it... let her starve.
Let her get a taste of what I go through every day.

Hungrily yours,
Dawn.[/font]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

May 13.
Well, I did it. I took the keys, and I left in the daytime. I knew she wouldn't go out in the sun for me, if she decided to come back. When the sun rose, I grabbed the keys and unlocked the door, and ran out. Her truck was still gone. I went to a little diner, and got something to eat. They looked over me and gave me the meal for free. I don't even know what I look like. They asked if they should call the police. I declined. That would make for a huge mess. After I ate, I went to a walk-in doctor's office. He told me I was in rough shape, but nothing was wrong with me. After that, I went looking for my sister. I went to our old house. It had been long abandonned. Everything was dusty, but just how it was before I was taken. I hope she's okay.
Before I came back to this house, I washed my clothes and took a shower. It was a gym. Apperantly an expensive one, if they had showers and washing machines. It felt so good to be clean again. Then I saw myself. What I looked like. My face is so gaunt... I lost so much weight I thought the doctor would be concerned. Clean water... clean water to drink was amazing. Even if it was from a park fountain.
I've finally realized that there are so many luxeries that Bellatrix stole from me. I don't know how I manage. But I know I had to come back. And I did. So here I am. Clean, full, and apperantly healthy. That's a releif.
The doctor did run some blood tests and found that I had some unknown substance in my blood, but I knew it was just vampire venom. I couldn't tell him that, though. He wouldn't beleive me. He told me that it was some sort of poison that a few people had when they died in their bloodstream. That they almost always died. He told me that the poison kills and disintigrates blood cells, ultimately making you loose blood. He said that it's usually injected with two very large needles in the neck. If only he knew they were just called vampires.
I wanted to tell him so bad. But then I'd be with a different doctor. A mental health doctor. And I know for a fact I'm not crazy. All I'd have to do is show him this book.
I'm hoping she comes back soon. I... I actually miss her. I don't know why... I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I miss her.

Dawn.[/font]

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 7.
I haven't written in a while. Half of the reason was because she found that I went out. I knew she would find out. I shouldn't have done it. She put me somewhere... I don't remember where. She never really told me, either. I guess I also forgot to return her keys to where I found them. That's how she found out. I still had them in my pocket. Stupid mistake. Should've have done it. Shouldn't have left. Just do what she says. Why can't I remember that? It's simple. Easy. Easy's nice.

Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 9.
Again... haven't had time. She's back to her regular schedule. I hurt all over... It's Friday again. I'm glad. Fridays are good. Not much to write about. She let me sleep in for another hour today, though. Don't know why. I hope someone realizes what she does in this basement. This is probably going to be the highlight of my life. 'The years I was tormented by a mass murderer.' Well, at least she has fame. Maybe I'll be remembered? My face on the television? I just don't want to hear my name and alive in the same sentence if I get on the news.
I want to die. I don't want to live. I want it gone. She's made life too... it's not worth it anymore. I doubt I'll ever see my family again. Maybe I can tell her and she'll listen? Push the knife just a little farther and end it? I wish.

Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 10.
Obviously, she didn't listen. I'm still alive in this hell. It was like she didn't even pay attention to me. Like I was just an annoying little kid. That's what I am in her eyes. A kid. I wonder how old she is? I wouldn't dare ask, though. There's no way I'd ask. Unless she was proud of her age? Flattery is always a nice trick to get on someone's good side. At least I hope.
Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 11.

It's coming to an end. All of it's wrapping up. I've come to my three months. A while ago, she told me she would keep me for three months, then decide my fate. Here I am... three months later. Am I ready for this? What will she do? What will happen? I don't want to know... all I know is that I won't like it.
One thing I will like about this, though. I don't have to write in this redundant diary anymore. The only thing it does is make my hand sore.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I want it to end. I don't even care anymore... I want to die.

Oh God. She's coming. What will she say?
I can hear a thumping sound... she's bringing something.

Dawn

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 12.

It burns... my back. It burns to move. It burns to speak. It burns just to think about it. She was carrying a whip, yesterday... second to her knife, that's her second favorite weapon. Her third is definately the tazer.
I can't write... not without pain.
So much pain...
I should be used to it by now. Pain should be an every day numb feeling.
I shouldn't have to deal with this... all of this crap.
Why do I even try?
I'm not eating my next meal... I'm not eating a meal ever again. I'm going to starve myself. Or perhaps when she comes along with her knife again, instead of pulling back... I'll throw myself in to it. I don't want to die how she wants me to.
I want to decide my own death.

Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 13.

She's done it. She told me. She's bringing Her daughter to find my sister. Ohh, if She actually knew she was my sister... I lied to Her. She doesn't know we're sisters... God, what would I do? What would She do? She'd use her against me. I know it. She would hurt her to try and get to me. And you know what? I would submit. I would beg Her to stop, and do as I'm told. I don't want her to get hurt. I don't want her to end up with the same amounts of scars as I do. I don't want her to suffer like I did.
I only hope She decides to spare mercy to my poor sister. She did nothing to receive the daily torture I do. Then... nor did I. I did nothing. She did nothing. Why did She even come after us?
I don't know. I don't care. I've said it many times in this diary already, but I want to die. I'm sick of this. I have nothing to look forward to except my sister's capture, then my death. It's nothing good. I'm guessing She’ll make it as painful as possible just so She and my sister and watch me writhe on the ground, slowly dying.
Then She'll do the same thing to my sister later on.
Ugh... I need to look on the bright side.... Maybe she'll let me go? I hope so.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 14.

She's thought it through. Last night, She was drunk again and I took advantage of that. I asked Her what Her plans were.
She told me. She thought of cyanide, various diseases, dismemberment, disembowelment, some form of 'playing doctor,' just plain old starving, letting a group of bored demons have me, and even let me loose with a pride of lions. But no.... Her conclusion was none of those. She told me that drowning was too peaceful a way to go, so She said She would 'spice it up.' She's going to blind me, tie me to something heavy, then drop me in the lake, all in front of my sister's innocent eyes. I couldn't stand for her to witness that. I love her too much to let that happen to her. No. That can't happen. I can't let her see that... I have to stop Her. Somehow.

Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 17.

She told me when She would do it. She got my sister yesterday. She's so scared.... I told her not to tell Her that we were sisters. She can't know. Not now. Not ever. If She knows, She'll do worse things. She promised me. We swore on it. God.... why did this have to happen to her? Swearing to me that she won't tell our devilish captor that we're related... that's ridiculous.
She tortured my sister... right in front of my eyes. She did it on purpose. She did it to hurt me. Hurt me mentally. To lower my morale. If She tried it, It would work. It would probably work too well. After all the torture She made me go through, I'm not going to let my sister go through the same thing. I wouldn't be able to watch that happen to her. She's so innocent... she doesn't deserve it.
I'm not even making sense... I need sleep.

Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 18.

I can tell She's going easy on her. She's not hurting her near as much as me. The devil of a woman bit her today. She drained my poor sister until her face was pale. The pain in her eyes.... I couldn't stand it. I jumped on the She Devil and tried to scratch Her eyes. That... didn't work out as well as I had planned. I didn't even plan. Maybe I should have? Too late to regret that, now.
She grabbed my throat and threw me in to a wall. I think my shoulder is dislocated... but the main point is that she stopped. That's all that mattered to me. My sister... she's weak, but she'll live. She's writhing on the ground right now. She's in so much pain... it sickens me. I think She put some venom in to her, but I doesn't look like enough to turn her. She would be screaming if that was the case. It may just be enough to make her like me. A filthy half-breed. I hope not.

Dawn.

[Ryvox]

Dear Diary,

June 20.

My entries are getting shorter and shorter... I can tell. There's nothing to talk about. It's the same thing every day. She comes down with some sort of weapon -- whether if be metal or fang -- and tortures me, and now my sister as well. This is ridiculous. I can't keep this up. It's getting so hard to keep my head high. I don't know what to do anymore.
My sister's starting to complain that she's hungry. I can't blame her. But she'll have to get used to it. It'll happen often. Sooner than later, she'll look like me. So skinny it's revolting. All of your bones showing... it feels like you've been stripped, in a way.
It's not the food that makes me this skinny... no. It's what she does to us. Our bodies require all the energy possible to recover. She feeds us well, foot isn't a problem. Usually. Sometimes she skips a couple days, but I think she does it intentionally.

Dawn.